Saturday, January 8, 2011

I'll have a shot of Robitussin... oh heck, make it a double!


So, last night, I was going to bed and all of a sudden, this headache kicked in (the Warm One would roll his eyes at this point, but it wasn't one of *those* headaches, it felt more sinus-y -slash- kind-of-headaches). I thought about taking some kind of allergy stuff for it... benadryl? Tylenol Cold? Robitussin? Anyway, I made some kind of comment about it, and the stupid tickly cough I was starting to get, and the drippy nose, then put cold stuff on my noggin, snuggled up to the Warm One, and fell asleep. Or, tried to. But, at some point, instead of falling asleep, one or the other of us started doing the chat thing that is endearing and important to long-term relationships --- but oh-so-difficult to do at, say, 1:30 a.m. when there are Mini's who will be up by 7 a.m. But, still, it started.

The conversation revolved around an old friend who had just had not one, not two, but three brand-new babies (all at once, mind you...!), and my promises to the Mini-est that we might do something "fun" tomorrow - and her quick response that she hoped it would involve her favorite babysitter and boy-toy coming over to play (hello, cuteness and tug at heart-strings!), and whatever pillowtalk is whispered amongst couples who've been together long enough to be best friends but not too long to lose whatever it is that keeps things interesting.

"Good god, I would die if we ever decide to have one more, and there ended up being more than one in there..." I start.

(Silence)

We have had this discussion before. The Warm One has bartered with me, wanting to get "The Snip"; I have firmly declined these offers, even though two Mini's is starting to feel more and more like the 'right' number. But, yet.... a soft, sweet, snuggly little someone... someday... might that be something to think about... one day... when the bigger Mini's are in school... maaaaybbbeee....

I'm just not ready for any finality on that subject yet.

But, I digressed already. The thought of having multiples, made me think of having a baby later in life, and/or having a baby after having issues getting pregnant ... sometimes needing a little "help" (which in turn sometimes leads to a little extra likelihood of having more than one baby, if you know what I mean). And those thoughts - remember, it was getting to be two a.m. at this time, and I really, really wanted to be asleep - rolled forwarded a couple more of those sparkly little glass beads of midwifery wisdom that I've been picking up. So, after much ado, here you are!

On Baby-Making Help:
Having trouble getting that " + " to show up? In addition to learning about your cycle, when you ovulate, and planning your lovin' around that...

* Throw back 2 teaspoons of Robitussin three times daily five days before you O, and the day you ovulate. (If you aren't sure when you O, and have a fairly regular 30-day cycle, try 2 tsp 3x/day on days 10-20) . Plain old Robitussin - nothing fancy, nothing added - works to thin out the cervical mucus, making it easier for the egg and sperm to meet. Who knew?! (Okay, to be fair, it seems like I learned this at some point in school, but they throw so much at you then it doesn't even count)

* You might as well... do the deed, get down & dirty, have intercourse, get intimate, do the nasty, light some candles and make it all romantic-like, have sexual relations, do like yo' mamma and daddy did, etc, etc --- on most of those same days as well. (If you know for a fact that your own Warm One has a low-count, this may impact how frequently you engage in these activities - but otherwise - make it fun, not a business!)

* Take a pill! (No, seriously). Sometimes, hopping on the pill for a few months - long enough to regulate your periods and get you ovulating - can definitely help, and it's incredible how fertile most women are when they drop off the pill. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!

* Have some good, expensive wine and dark, dark chocolates. I have nothing to support this, but it definitely will help, I promise.

*****
On second thought, though, I'll keep my long-term 99.9% birth control in place, and one of y'all can happily have my double shot of Robitussin today.


And for the love of whoever you pray to, sacrifice to, or pay taxes or health care bills to - this is a blog, not a medical advice or triage page. Don't rely on it for your health care needs, it's simply my own observations and thoughts, based on what I have seen and heard. If you are dealing with these issues, your best bet is to see your doctor or (ahem) very reputable, qualified certified nurse-midwife or nurse-practitioner. thank you for not suing me for being silly about it.

~Love that cough syrup pic? Hit up Jamie Barke Photography, she is *spectacular* at any and every type of photography... http://jamiebarkephotography.zenfolio.com/ or search "Jamie Barke Photography" on Facebook. Boudoir, bellies, babies... whatever kind of beautiful shots you've got in mind - she'll take your breath away! ~

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Well, here we go...

... the blogging wagon is rolling, and I guess I'd better jump on it. Sh*t, or get off the pot, right? Speak now, or forever hold my peace? (Any other corny cliches you guys can come up with?!)

Seriously, though, everyone is blogging these days. I've been meaning to, forever... maybe since I began my MSN program almost two years ago. Or, at least since I began the "fun" part of it (read: clinical portion) two and a half months ago. Or, at least when the new year - 2011, holy crap! - began a couple of days ago. And yet... it's like pulling freakin' teeth to get this going. What the hell?! So many (valid) excuses - I can't think of a good name, I don't know what to say, who cares what I'm thinking about, am I going to be violating those darned privacy laws, I doubt I'll keep up with it anyway, blah blah, blah, yadda yadda, etc, etc...

So, in honor of the new year - or, to be more honest (one of my new resolutions), to avoid dealing with the Mini's who are fighting bedtime - I'm going to hit these *very* valid reasons head on, if for no better reason than to have a list of arguments for my own little mind, next week, when I'm ready to call this thing quits. Here goes...

All the catchy names are taken. Well, this is 110% true, I'm just plain S.O.L. on this regard. "At Your Cervix", "Speculative Speculum", etc.... taken. (And awesome, by the way --- check them out!) So, with that in mind, I am going to bow gracefully out on the name front. Maybe I'll get into my chosen title another time. Actually, I'm sure I will. But, that's another topic, for another post, on another day. (As a teaser, though, I will promise that I don't - usually - nibble on the newborns. That's all I'm giving you right now.)

I've got nothing anyone cares to read. Oh well! Even if no one reads this blog, maybe it will give me something to do. (Again, see the paragraph above. My Mini's, ages 2 1/2 and 4 1/2, have this silly little habit at about 7-8 p.m., where they need to go to bed, but they get very stubborn and naughty about it. If I'm doing "homework" - which to me, this blogging seems to legitimately be - I can feel better about sharing this duty with my darling spouse, yes? Yes.) Also, to be honest, while I might not be catching the "pearls of midwifery" wisdom that were touted here and there throughout my education thus far, I am definitely picking up some very intriguing facts every single day in clinicals. (Did you know, for instance, that women - many women - can have long hairs growing on their breasts? And that it is INCREDIBLY embarrassing to be doing a breast exam, see one of these said stray, long hairs, and then - as a student nurse midwife who may frequently 'shed' similar long stray hairs - assume that it is mortifyingly your own hair, fallen on the exposed breast, until you grab it gingerly between two fingers and yank, only to realize... Again, maybe not a *pearl* of midwifery wisdom, but I would call it, oh, I don't know, maybe - some sort of nice-looking glass bead, not quite swarovski, but not bad).

And that nasty old HIPAA... The lovely blogger-friend over at "At Your Cervix" has a wonderful outlook on privacy, which I am going to paraphrase (without, unfortunately, giving her proper APA credit - sadly this is too tricky to do with the anonymity of the 'Net. I hope she doesn't mind.) Anyway, if you're reading this and think I'm posting about you, your mama, your sister, or your baby, or your baby-mama - I'm not. See my "About Me" - in my 20-odd, or 30-odd, or however many years I've had in my days**, I've been a...
* Mother, * Daughter, * Sister, * Nurse, * Student Nurse-Midwife, *Nursing Assistant (Nursing Homes, Hospital, and Clinic), * Table games worker, * Waitress, * Cashier, * Babysitter, * Tutor, * Friend... and who knows what all else I've forgotten. I have around 350 'friends' on Facebook and have attended more conferences regarding labor/delivery, prenatal care, obstetric emergencies, and various midwifery topics, than I could care to try to count. I have a terrible memory, which means that even if I try to remember or describe a specific situation - which, having been schooled on the HIPAA regulations many, many times, I wouldn't - I would have no chance. Instead, scenarios tend to be from my own history, stories relayed to me by family members or friends, etc. No patient data is ever shared. All right, enough about that drivel.

You know I'm not going to keep up with this, though... Honestly, we'll see about this one. Maybe I will - who knows! I have some stories I do want to share (a couple of takes on the 'delicious delivery' thing --- a bowl of tortellini alfredo, which I will never be able to eat again --- as well as maybe some other things) and imagine that some other things might just come up.

On that note, I just thought of the tortellini, which is really killing my vibe... *that* story might have to start out the next post... :X

(** does anyone question that I really, really have to think to figure out my age?! Because I do, no joke.)