Well, here we go...

... the blogging wagon is rolling, and I guess I'd better jump on it. Sh*t, or get off the pot, right? Speak now, or forever hold my peace? (Any other corny cliches you guys can come up with?!)

Seriously, though, everyone is blogging these days. I've been meaning to, forever... maybe since I began my MSN program almost two years ago. Or, at least since I began the "fun" part of it (read: clinical portion) two and a half months ago. Or, at least when the new year - 2011, holy crap! - began a couple of days ago. And yet... it's like pulling freakin' teeth to get this going. What the hell?! So many (valid) excuses - I can't think of a good name, I don't know what to say, who cares what I'm thinking about, am I going to be violating those darned privacy laws, I doubt I'll keep up with it anyway, blah blah, blah, yadda yadda, etc, etc...

So, in honor of the new year - or, to be more honest (one of my new resolutions), to avoid dealing with the Mini's who are fighting bedtime - I'm going to hit these *very* valid reasons head on, if for no better reason than to have a list of arguments for my own little mind, next week, when I'm ready to call this thing quits. Here goes...

All the catchy names are taken. Well, this is 110% true, I'm just plain S.O.L. on this regard. "At Your Cervix", "Speculative Speculum", etc.... taken. (And awesome, by the way --- check them out!) So, with that in mind, I am going to bow gracefully out on the name front. Maybe I'll get into my chosen title another time. Actually, I'm sure I will. But, that's another topic, for another post, on another day. (As a teaser, though, I will promise that I don't - usually - nibble on the newborns. That's all I'm giving you right now.)

I've got nothing anyone cares to read. Oh well! Even if no one reads this blog, maybe it will give me something to do. (Again, see the paragraph above. My Mini's, ages 2 1/2 and 4 1/2, have this silly little habit at about 7-8 p.m., where they need to go to bed, but they get very stubborn and naughty about it. If I'm doing "homework" - which to me, this blogging seems to legitimately be - I can feel better about sharing this duty with my darling spouse, yes? Yes.) Also, to be honest, while I might not be catching the "pearls of midwifery" wisdom that were touted here and there throughout my education thus far, I am definitely picking up some very intriguing facts every single day in clinicals. (Did you know, for instance, that women - many women - can have long hairs growing on their breasts? And that it is INCREDIBLY embarrassing to be doing a breast exam, see one of these said stray, long hairs, and then - as a student nurse midwife who may frequently 'shed' similar long stray hairs - assume that it is mortifyingly your own hair, fallen on the exposed breast, until you grab it gingerly between two fingers and yank, only to realize... Again, maybe not a *pearl* of midwifery wisdom, but I would call it, oh, I don't know, maybe - some sort of nice-looking glass bead, not quite swarovski, but not bad).

And that nasty old HIPAA... The lovely blogger-friend over at "At Your Cervix" has a wonderful outlook on privacy, which I am going to paraphrase (without, unfortunately, giving her proper APA credit - sadly this is too tricky to do with the anonymity of the 'Net. I hope she doesn't mind.) Anyway, if you're reading this and think I'm posting about you, your mama, your sister, or your baby, or your baby-mama - I'm not. See my "About Me" - in my 20-odd, or 30-odd, or however many years I've had in my days**, I've been a...

* Mother, * Daughter, * Sister, * Nurse, * Student Nurse-Midwife, *Nursing Assistant (Nursing Homes, Hospital, and Clinic), * Table games worker, * Waitress, * Cashier, * Babysitter, * Tutor, * Friend... and who knows what all else I've forgotten. I have around 350 'friends' on Facebook and have attended more conferences regarding labor/delivery, prenatal care, obstetric emergencies, and various midwifery topics, than I could care to try to count. I have a terrible memory, which means that even if I try to remember or describe a specific situation - which, having been schooled on the HIPAA regulations many, many times, I wouldn't - I would have no chance. Instead, scenarios tend to be from my own history, stories relayed to me by family members or friends, etc. No patient data is ever shared. All right, enough about that drivel.

You know I'm not going to keep up with this, though... Honestly, we'll see about this one. Maybe I will - who knows! I have some stories I do want to share (a couple of takes on the 'delicious delivery' thing --- a bowl of tortellini alfredo, which I will never be able to eat again --- as well as maybe some other things) and imagine that some other things might just come up.

On that note, I just thought of the tortellini, which is really killing my vibe... *that* story might have to start out the next post... :X

(** does anyone question that I really, really have to think to figure out my age?! Because I do, no joke.)