Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Six days. That's how long it's been since I've had one. To some of you, it might not seem like that long, but god, it sucks! I almost, almost had one yesterday - but I didn't.

I don't know if it's good or bad that I kept my hands off it yesterday. It was SO close - but I held myself back.

I'm dreaming of them; driving to work and clinical, I fantasize about how to get one. How to excuse myself out of the office, for that very reason... In the office, I do anything I can (within reason, of course!) to "help" make it more likely...

(Is this bad?)

All right, all right... the good news is, if nothing else - we have two inductions scheduled Friday morning so I WILL get my hands on one of those long-sought guilty pleasures then. If the multip - who has been so desperately waiting for labor for the past three weeks, and whose membranes I "stripped" a few days ago, hoping it might nudge labor on - hasn't naturally kicked in by then, I think hers will be the first lustily-crying babe I'll get my hands on. I think he'll (we don't know if it's a boy or girl, but I'm banking on boy parts) be a pretty good size kiddo, but she'll do well: her heart will fill with a new love for her child that she allows my hands to catch - such an awesome feeling!

Otherwise, besides the dreams and intense desire to catch one --- no jitters or other symptoms, so I guess my withdrawal isn't as severe as it initially seems. But - just in case... send some baby-vibes this way, please!

The Cost of CNEP Clinicals

So, I finally decided to pop out a calculator and figure out just how much in lost wages this whole clinical thing is costing me. Between clinging, sad kiddos and a dwindling checkbook, I finally admitted to myself that I was having some pretty severe withdrawal from my life as well as the slippery babes. I was shocked, though, to realize just how much we've 'lost' since I cut waaaay back on working to try to plow through clinicals... see below (I won't tell you exactly how much I make, I'm just going to toss out $25/hr as an "average" rate for a newer RN working in a hospital setting in a low cost-of-living area... sound fair?) . So - CNEP program length is 675 hours total...

675 x $25 = $16,875

Holy Bejesus Batman! I knew it would be a lot... but I wasn't expecting that much (I really, really suck at math). Yikes!

And, of course, this nice chunk of change doesn't include mileage/gas costs - I am commuting right around an hour each way to my clinical site, usually 4 days a week, so averaging probably $80-90/wk in gas - or tuition/schooling costs (I want to say this is about $2800 each term, or around $8400 total, give or take, for the three terms of clinical that I will have). Last - and definitely not least - there is the time away from my family and "life"... there is no way to put a price on this, but hopefully, will be a small sacrifice that will be forgiven once time passes.


  1. Ack! I purposely never pulled out that calculator...cause it would've been so upsetting! But I will tell you that is is priceless and you will come out the other side.

  2. It will all be worth it when you are an official CNM!! You will figure out the money thing in time (: And just make sure all the time you have with the little hunnies is *quality*. That's all you can do and focus on the end result!! Hello...catching babes every day and womens health---awesome!!!